Perhaps it’s built into our DNA, we humans have always fought one another throughout history. Whether it’s within the same families or against other groups of people, we have never stopped fighting. While I am not an expert on why exactly we fight, we often see that interactions involving humans easily go out of hand in a matter of seconds. Our differences (tangible or intangible) are often the cause of a lot of these fights. Take my own family for example. Some family members have stopped talking to each other due to major differences of opinions which later led to nasty fights.
We Are Just Different
What one sees as normal and logical may be viewed as offensive and calculating. I guess we are just all different. It’s probably better to think of ourselves as different beings from one another. It’s much easier that way. It feels a lot lighter. Imagine being let down by the very people who you love and value dearly. Trusting someone because we have high expectations of them but only to find out it’s actually very different to what we had originally imagined. Reality can be cruel. Human beings are capable of doing unspeakable things, for all sorts of reasons.
We Are One
At the same time, many great spiritual teachers have pointed out that we are in fact all connected beings. We are all connected to the same source. Or you could say, we are one. This creates a very sharp contrast. On one hand, we are very different and always fight one another. On the other hand, we are all connected to one another and also to the same source. How do we reconcile this big contrast? Well, perhaps we should look at things vertically rather than horizontally.
Horizontal V.S. Vertical
Horizontally speaking, we are different beings who look and think differently with individual traits. Vertically speaking, we are connected in a fundamental way. Imagine that we are trees in a forest. Each one of us represents a tree. Every tree is different, some are taller than others. Some even belong to a different species. But beneath the trees lie the earth where all the roots are connected. Even if you are of a different species, the whole ecosystem of the forest ensures you are connected to other trees. Insects and animals act as intermediaries. In essence, we are the trees with individual traits but we are also all part of the forest.
Finding Balance
What does all this imply? It means that it’s simply a balancing act. We don’t really need to do anything in particular. All we need to do is to acknowledge that we are the same even though we may be different at the same time. Whenever we find ourselves focusing on our differences, we should remind ourselves that we are also connected. Likewise, whenever we feel stifled by our loved ones, friends and families, we should remind ourselves that we are different individuals with our own set of values. Sometimes it’s good to be connected but sometimes it’s better to acknowledge our differences. It’s entirely up to us and I think the keyword is balance. All we need to do is find the right balance. There is no right or wrong.