We see them all the time. Whether it’s through media or in person. Whether we like it or not, the fact is, there are highly disagreeable people in the world. It’s probably even more unpleasant if they are close to us or are related to us. So how do we deal with them?
*For the purpose of this post, by disagreeable people I am referring to people who we don’t like in a generic sense. There are probably some specific individual cases that require a more tailored approach which I will not cover here.
Acknowledge Their Existence
I am afraid my very immediate response is not very spiritual. It’s impossible to not feel have any contempt towards them. That’s probably a very natural response most people have, But if I were to put on my sensible hat, one of the first things we should do is to simply accept them. This is not to say we necessarily agree with them or condone their behaviour. We simply acknowledge their existence no matter how unpleasant the situation is. It might even help to view them as some kind of beast, just as you would when you encounter a tiger in the wild.
We Don’t Want To Give Them Too Much Attention
If there’s something we can do to change things for the better then we should. However, it’s unwise to stress ourselves and pursue things if it proves to be a tiring process. We probably wouldn’t want to confront them either as that would create unnecessary tension for us and them. We also don’t want to give them too much attention or give a story. Questions such as ‘how could they…?’ or ‘I can’t believe he did…’ are probably not very helpful either. We should simple acknowledge and move on. No hang-ups.
What If We Can’t Avoid Them?
What if they are people that we know and we can’t avoid them? It’s easier if we’re dealing with a stranger because there are no additional pressure. There are people who are closer to us (through work or through family ties) and we face them on a more regular basis. Well, it’s the same approach. Simply see them as part of our ‘surroundings’ and we should keep a respectable distance with them. We should avoid giving them labels either.
At some point, we will need to acknowledge that there are certain challenges we must deal with in the world so sometimes there’s no other way. But more importantly, we should see these challenges as opportunities. They are here to make us more conscious. When we overcome these (usually through a deeper realisation), we also become more conscious.
I don’t know, this post gives me the impression that you are scared of conflict and feel threatened when somebody does not agree with you.
You feel contempt towards people that “ people who we don’t like in a generic sense”? (These are your own words). Just because you don’t like them, now you look down on them? This is incredibly bigoted.
I understand feeling contempt towards somebody who does something immoral, like stealing or cheating on their spouse. This I agree with. I look down on people like this too.
But just because you personally don’t like them, shouldn’t be cause for so much turmoil and consternation.
It gives the impression that people must step on eggshells around you, and must constantly please you to avoid triggering you.
Thanks for your comment. I can neither agree or disagree as I haven’t really thought about it. I think I know what you are saying. Perhaps I do look down on people sometimes. But I think it’s a lot subtler than merely just showing frustration on the outside. It’s probably due to sensitivity and introversion rather than being hostile towards someone. You could say it’s a personal shortcoming. These days I try not to pay too much attention to people who I feel contempt towards.